Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize