Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize