im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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