So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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