I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
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