Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
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She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
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Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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