i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize