I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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