Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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