So drunk its hurt
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
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My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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