fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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