There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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