Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
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once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
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My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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