I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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