Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize