dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
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