i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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