i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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