I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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