I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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