Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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