hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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