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it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We had to coat check the pizza.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Randomize
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