I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize