I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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