Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
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His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
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Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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