I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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