i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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