My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize