Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
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Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
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Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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