last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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