i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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