my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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