he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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