Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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