I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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