i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
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I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
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He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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