i just wanna soil my oats bro
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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