Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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