Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
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I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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