Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
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I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
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Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
God, I missed his penis.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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