I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
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At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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