I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize