but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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