he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
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i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
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Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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