I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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