stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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