i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize