So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize