I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls are so social today.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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